She Redefined Joy
We listened to Susannah’s story for over an hour and she said something in that time that entirely changed my perspective on the mentality of becoming a refugee. As Susannah sat on the mudded stoop of her hut nursing her youngest of seven children, she walked us through her journey from her home in the South Sudan to her new residence in Rhino refugee camp in northern Uganda. We asked her if she had a husband still living back in the South Sudan, which is a typical situation we have encountered since we arrived almost one month ago. Susannah revealed that her husband left her before the war in the South Sudan broke out. She was alone and tasked with raising a family of seven on her own. That wasn’t what changed my perspective, though. While Susannah is certainly a unique woman with a valuable story to tell, most of the challenges she has faced are consistent with many other refugees in the area that we have met.
If I’m being honest, for most of our time with her, I was going through the motions of overseeing the shoot and ensuring that all of the elements of the story were present and intact. I was focused on how our cameras were set up, where the audio was peaking, how Susannah’s face was lit while sitting in the shadow of her hut, and the noise being made by the children chasing chickens nearby.
Towards the end of our time with Susannah, I only had two lingering questions, which Donovan asked:
“What makes you feel fear?”
“The thought of government soldiers taking me from my hut and killing me and my children.” Susannah replied. (Paraphrased)
This is the answer I expected. We’ve heard this response before. Of course this would cause Susannah to feel fear. That very situation has unfolded in front of her eyes already while she was preparing to leave the South Sudan.
“What gives you joy?”
Susannah paused only momentarily before responding.
“The thing that brings me joy is not hearing bullets or seeing people die in front of me anymore.”
At once, my mind was overcome. This was not the answer I was expecting, nor was it one that I wanted to hear. I immediately turned away from the conversation and took a few steps away. I had to take a few moments to gather my thoughts and wrap my mind around what had just happened. Susannah twisted the meaning of a word with which I thought I had grown familiar over the course of my life. In just nineteen words my concept of joy had been twisted and redefined to include something I had never thought of before this encounter.
The only thing that brought Susannah joy was the absence of something horrible rather than the presence of something hopeful. This is the impact of a series of traumatic events. The trauma of the war in the South Sudan and the atrocities Susannah has seen with her own eyes and heard with her own ears have convinced her that joy is now simply the absence of bad things. This mindset robs the positive sense of hope that is foundational to the concept of joy.
In reality, the true nature of joy here never changed. But because of the hopelessness she now feels, Susannah is struggling to comprehend what constitutes authentic joy. We saw this unfold as we heard more of her story.
“Do you think you could ever start over here? If you had some help, could you start a small business to help you provide more for your family? Are there any opportunities for you to thrive here? If the war never ends, could this place become home?”
Each question met with the same response…
“No. It’s impossible.”
As I watched this conversation unfold, however, I still saw a woman with potential. Despite her lack of true joy, I saw a woman who has passion and drive. She demonstrates as much every day as she sacrifices of herself to provide for the seven children under her care. Susannah feels defeated. She has lost a tremendous amount of which she once held dear. But she, like many others in this camp, have what it takes to thrive in this place. I know this to be true, because I have seen it with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears. Susannah needs healing. She needs a renewed sense of joy and hope. That is why people need to know about this crisis. The solutions for pain and suffering do not rest exclusively with the government. The solutions for pain, suffering, and a renewal of joy rest in relationships with people just like you and me.
That is our goal with this project. To build relationships and provide a way for anyone out there to get involved in combating this crisis by offering their gifting and time to a generation of South Sudanese refugees in need of hope. Keep following along with our project for more information as this story unfolds.
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